The #Ittasteslikelove breastfeeding comebacks guide

Photo Credit: Rosalia Sempere Pico

RSP Photography

10 Perfect comebacks to silence breastfeeding critics

Family gatherings can be stressful at the best of times. The heady mix of multiple generations cooped up together in a confined space, a splash or ten of alcohol, and the frustrations of being in the constant company of people you love, but who you wouldn’t necessarily choose to be with 24-7, can mean tensions escalate.

For those breastfeeding,  especially if friends and family are either unsupportive or unused to the idea, there’s an extra layer of anxiety.

However confident you are in your parenting path, it’s likely your choices will come under scrutiny if you nurse around those with little knowledge or experience of it.

Sometimes people mean well, (and sometimes they really don’t). Sometimes people are misinformed (and sometimes they’re just downright ignorant). Sometimes people can’t help but just get all up in your business even if all you want to do is comfort your child.

The core point is this: If people say they support breastfeeding, there should be no ifs or buts, dictating where, when, or how they deem it acceptable.

Usually, the witty comebacks of all the things you wish you’d said, only come after a few hours of stewing… so we’ve put together a handy guide to help you beat the critics.

I support breastfeeding but… 

1. #Not in public

Be funny:  Yes, you probably have eye-strain from the effort of searching for a tiny slither of nipple to get upset over. But did you know you own an excellent device to avoid witnessing the horror of me comforting the little one? Eyelids.

Be factual: Breastfeeding is a natural and normal part of child-rearing. I understand it can make some people feel uncomfortable but that is because for too long we’ve been told that breasts are to sell and seduce rather than nourish. It’s time to change the conversation. If you’re upset by a mother meeting her child’s needs, the problem lies with you.

 

I support breastfeeding but… 

2. #Not when it’s attention-seeking

Be funny: You got me! I decided to go through the engorgement, sore nipples, and cluster-feeding because I realised nursing offered the perfect opportunity to flaunt my fantastic hooters to the world. The trials of pregnancy, labour, and learning to breastfeed – all a ruse to enable my flagrant exhibitionism.

Be factual: Good parents react to their child’s cues to see if verbally, or non-verbally, they are telling us they’re in need of sustenance, comfort or reassurance. Breastfeeding is an excellent tool to address one or all of these basic needs and avoid unnecessary distress. Whether I’m dressed in a ballgown or in my pyjamas, what I – and any other mother – is wearing while nursing, is irrelevant. The sole intention remains the same: helping my children.

 

I support breastfeeding but… 

3. #Use a cover

Be funny: Good idea. I’ve taken the liberty of bringing a number of spares so that we can all use them during dinner. I hate the way that Uncle Jack chews with his mouth open, and Aunty Peggy is a drooler. This way no one has to witness anything they feel is inappropriate. Limits the inane chat as well.

Be factual: Would you want to eat with a blanket over your head? Covers are fine if that’s how parents and kids choose to nurse, but a lot of children hate them and make more of a fuss than if they just fed normally.

Photo Credit: Eva Thieulle

Eva Portraits

 

I support breastfeeding but… 

4. #Not when they can walk

Be funny:  You’re right, arbitrary guidelines and imagined cut-off points seem ideal ways to parent.  In fact, seeing as baby is now nine months and has taken his first steps – it’s time to cut the apron strings – I’ll cuddling him altogether.

Be factual: Children hit developmental milestones at different times and learning a skill has no link to weaning. In fact, breastfeeding helps children cope with the emotional complexities of exploration and learning – it’s a safe place in what can be a scary world. If the World Health Organisations advocates breastfeeding exclusively to six months, and then in combination with food beyond two years – why would you deprive my child of something good for him simply because he’s learned a skill?

 

I support breastfeeding but… 

5. #Not when it means family can’t feed the baby 

Be funny:  You know what they say… the hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world. I don’t want anyone else to bond with her, or it’ll interfere with my masterplan for global domination.

Be factual:  I need to nurse on demand so my body works with baby’s to produce and supply the optimal amount for them.  Breastfeeding’s a learnt skill and something I need some time to get a handle on it all. There are lots of other ways you can bond: burping them, changing them, or holding them when I need to have a shower, a pee, or some hands-free time. But the best way to assist – would be to help look after me.

 

I support breastfeeding but… 

6. #I don’t want my kids seeing it

Be funny:  Your kids will see more boob walking past a Victoria Secret advert, on Youtube, or in a music video but yeah, glimpsing their cousin nurse is the real problem.

Be factual:  Breastfeeding has been hidden in the shadows for too long and is seen as an unusual act rather than the biological norm. Like any skill humans have to master, we need to see it in action first, and we need to be paying attention to the pitfalls in order to know how to avoid or cope with them. I think it’s a good thing that children grow up seeing this, without fuss, so they know the reality of it.

 

Photo Credit: Rosalia Sempere Pico

RSP Photography

 

I support breastfeeding but… 

7. #Not if they’re old enough to ask for it

Be funny: I assume you mean with words? So when my baby masters the skill of talking, and expands his vocabulary, you’re saying I should reward him by saying NO…. because it might offend you or someone equally ignorant?

Be factual: What you’re really saying then is don’t breastfeed, because babies know how to let caregivers know what they need very early one. Baby’s can sign for breastmilk from around six months, and many have specific pre-verbal babble that they assign to nursing soon after. Why is your cut-off point when they can use words?

 

I support breastfeeding but… 

8. #She should be on cow’s milk by now

Be funny: Absolutely, it is time for her to try what’s available from other mammals. Why restrict her to just cow’s milk though? We’ll see what cats, dogs and hamsters have to offer.

Be factual: Breast milk is the wondrous result of millions of years of evolutionary biology, a superfood uniquely tailored to each human child, and breasts are the original zero-waste packaging.  Why do you feel that milk tailored for baby cows would be better for my human child?

 

I support breastfeeding but… 

9. #Fed is best

Be funny: Why didn’t you say so? All this time I’ve been trying to eat a balanced diet for optimal health when actually from what you’re saying, it sounds like I could just have a daily binge on a bucket of KFC and a family-sized chocolate tin.

Be factual: Reductive phrases don’t help anyone but if you want to discuss it this way: Fed is the bare minimum. Informed is best. If you believe in a woman’s right to education, then it should be all education, including maternal and infant health. Once women have access to all the support and information they need, they can make the best choices.

Photo Credit: Claire Fraser

High Jump Photography

 

I support breastfeeding but… 

10. #It’s just for babies

Be funny: I plan on nursing until he’s at least safely in college.

Be factual: Breast milk loses none of its nutrition just because a child gets older. It simply compliments their diet until they are ready to wean. The natural age for humans to wean is, on average, anywhere between two and eight. In fact, experts and scientists say breastfeeding into early childhood contributes to your child’s nutrition, health, emotional and intellectual development, and also has benefits for mama too. This has been proven time and time again, by a wide range of scientists and sociologists. So no, it’s not just for babies.

 

I support breastfeeding but… 

#LET ME STOP YOU RIGHT THERE.

If your support of breastfeeding is conditional…

You don’t support breastfeeding

COVID-19: My wife was gone… and no one knew for how long

When Juergen Ditz’s wife Catherine was diagnosed with the novel coronavirus, his whole world was turned upside down. She was put into isolation in hospital, while he and their two young daughters, aged just 4 months and 21 months, had to quarantine. Things took a turn for the worse when their frozen breast milk supply ran out, and the baby suffered a severe reaction to formula. Here he tells his story:

By Juergen Ditz, Guest Writer

 

The Lead Up

When Catherine told me she wasn’t feeling well I didn’t think too much of it. I told her to relax and just take it easy. She had a fever and just felt crap.  The new coronavirus crossed our minds but we thought it was probably flu, or perhaps fatigue from travel as we had just got back from Bali and had a tough journey back with two very young kids.

The next day things were no better, she had pain in her legs and the fever was back. Our minds tossed things over: Could it be flu? What about dengue? There have been a lot of cases in Bali this year.

Please don’t let it be COVID-19

She decided to isolate herself in the guest bed room, I brought her food and drinks in exchange for pumped breast milk. It was a sign of things to come.

The next morning suddenly she felt a lot better. No more fever, no more pain. We got our hopes up that it was just a little bug. But by 4pm she was back in the guest room feeling terrible and by 7pm she was finding it harder to breathe.

She felt like a stack of bricks was on her chest 

I called the Hong Kong health authority hotline and explained the situation but they said to call 999.  The ambulance came within 15 minutes. I gave her a kiss on the cheek and promised her I’d keep the kids safe.

My wife was gone… and no one knew for how long.

The Bomb 

Catherine had x-rays which indicated she had the novel coronavirus but needed blood and swab tests to confirm the results. She was put in isolation while awaiting the results.

Neither of us slept.

Back at home, so many things were going through my mind. If she was positive, what would it mean for us.  How long would our two young children – just 4 months and 21 months – be without their mother, or me without my wife.

And how could we feed our breastfed baby, without breast milk?

At noon, the doctors told her it wasn’t dengue. It’s a strange situation when that news comes as a blow.

I feared the worst… I was right.

That evening Catherine was given a preliminary diagnosis of COVID-19. We still needed the final confirmation, but we knew it was likely to be positive.

I was in tears but I had to stay strong. I called my family and a few friends, and asked for their help. I knew I’d need it over the next few weeks as I quarantined with our children.

Stocktake 

The proposed treatment for Catherine was a two weeks of anti-retrovirals, usually used for HIV cases, plus antibiotics and vitamin C. The doctors were clear she could not breastfeed and we had no idea when she might be discharged.

The news then went from bad to worse.  

I did an inventory of our frozen breast milk stash. I  didn’t know exactly how much our 4-month-old drank since she mostly fed directly from her mummy. So I kept a log to see how much she needed and worked out it was around one litre a day.

Catherine had pumped from the early days, so a quick count of all the bags,  showed we had enough for about nine to ten days. On average patients get out within three weeks, but this virus is unpredictable.

It was not enough milk to get us through till mummy came home.

And even if and when she was discharged, we still didn’t know if she would even be able to breastfeed again.

Looking down the barrel of two plus weeks in quarantine as a single parent, I realised life was going to be different for a bit.

A new routine started to kick in, we slept in, we had long breakfasts, we made pancakes together. There were long naps and long baths. We made the most of rooftop activities as we have a terrace and some swings so that helped, so did short bursts of Peppa Pig.

I did all that with the iPad in tow to keep Catherine involved

I knew seeing the baby would help with her milk production (she was having to pump and dump her milk in hospital, but was holding on to the idea that she would be able to nurse again on day).

So we didn’t just have conversations on FaceTime, no, we tried to have recreate family life – long distance.

 

 

Allergic Reaction

 

As the breast milk was running out I had no choice but to try formula. We’d hoped the baby would breastfeed until at least a year, so to cut it short at four months, was sad.

We bought formula for the “in case of” situations that you think will never happen to you. We never had any intention of using it unless something dire happened to my wife.

But something dire did happen…

I started off with the first bottle after lunch, just in case there was a  reaction I knew it was best to trial it in the day.

The first 50ml went down okay, but then our daughter’s skin started to turn red and some blisters formed on her neck. I knew then that this was an allergy.

I was about to call the ambulance.

But I called our midwife and paediatrician first and they advised using antihistamines, which cleared the rash within two hours.

But looking at the dwindling stash of frozen breast milk, I knew we were in trouble.

We were in quarantine so I couldn’t go in to a doctor or a clinic, or shop around for different formulas in the hope that our baby might not be allergic to one of them.

The hospital wouldn’t allow Catherine to keep the milk she was pumping, and the discussion to have our baby in isolation with my wife wasn’t even entertained by the doctors. This is despite the World Health Organization stating that mothers with COVID-19 that wish to breastfeed, should be supported to do so safely.

 

The Power of Social Media 

 

Once the children were asleep, Catherine and I talked things through. Our choices were limited: either sending the baby to be admitted into a public hospital once I ran out of milk, or to search for donations.

We opted for the latter and while friends of ours gave some bags of milk that would keep us going a few more days, it wasn’t a long term solution.

We needed more breast milk.

My wife posted in Hong Kong Breastfeeding, a Facebook group, and within hours mums across the city started pumping for our baby.

The admins contacted me to check my freezer space, and how much I had left. They told me not to worry.

Milk was on its way!

When the milk arrived, delivered by volunteers and dropped off according to quarantine rules, I was in tears and speechless. There was more than 10 litres of liquid gold, nicely packed, clearly labelled, and well organised.

I couldn’t believe it. In a place that is usually all about money, I saw real community spirit.

The baby took the new milk with no problems and it was as if a huge weight was lifted from all of us.

Then a week later Catherine returned home.

What I Learned

I have always been a hands on dad – having children in my early 40s meant I had already done all the backpacking, the junks, the messy nights partying, and the boozy races in Happy Valley.  In a town where domestic help is affordable and social pressures are high, there are a lot of men who make you wonder if they really want to be dads, or if they just want to have children – these are two totally different things.

I love being a dad so I have spent a lot of time with my daughters since day one. So being a single dad while Catherine was in hospital was – looking back now – not the main issue. It’s not unusual for me to handle the bathing, the changing, the feeding, and the nappies and we had friends and neighbours to help with supplies during quarantine.

The tough bit was that we were quarantined and we couldn’t bring in my mother or sister, or my in-laws to help. We were limited to our space and I couldn’t occupy the girls with adventures outside the house.  Instead I slowed our pace of life right down – long baths and lie-ins, cooking together and playing together.

I split the time up into blocks of five days, and it made the time go a lot easier than if I had thought of it was a 2-3 week stretch. In these tough situations, you quickly realise what you are capable of, and what you can achieve – you have no choice.

Family Reunited

 

 

 

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COVID-19 SILVER LININGS: Virus fallout helps heal breastfeeding/formula divide

Photo credit: Jennifer Tamas/Jake Calvo

For fifty years inexplicable battle lines have been drawn – fed is best on one side, breast is best on the other. An unhealthy division that has fostered animosity, contempt, and at times unhealthy ignorance.

But a new approach is gathering momentum: Informed is best.

We know that breast milk is the optimal nourishment for babies, a superfood in the original zero waste packaging, that also provides immunological, emotional and developmental support.

We know that we are only beginning to understand the health benefits, and while there is still less research on breast milk than there is on wine, coffee, or even tomatoes, the studies that have been done, show its enormous potential in both prevention and cure of key diseases.  

But we also know life is complicated. 

We know women are failed by poor post-partum support, by old narratives that tell them there’s something wrong if the baby cluster feeds or cannot sleep through the night. We know around the world – authorities hail the importance of breastfeeding while providing very little in the way of maternity provisions. 

And most of all we know a mother is under-valued.

So much so that breastfeeding is dismissed as easy and free, rather than a learned skill that needs support and time to master. We also know that mama is important too – for some the challenges of breastfeeding can outweigh the benefits, for others it is all about a freedom to choose.

There is greater empathy now for women who walk different paths, the fight is less and less between us, but more in ensuring that everyone is making decisions based on all the available information.

If you believe in a woman’s right to education – it must be all education – including maternal and infant health. 

But the horror of living through the COVID-19 pandemic, might just be creating another bridge between worlds.

Ittasteslikelove talks to blogger, campaigner, and YouTube star Jennifer Tamas about how this virus is helping heal old divisions and how her milk donation drive has not just fed hungry babies but been a unifying force for good.

Photo credit: Jennifer Tamas/Jake Calvo

By Jenny Tamas 

Setting up the milk donation was never my intention, but my neighbour told me that there were moms unable to find formula for their babies.

This was due to people panic buying because of COVID-19.

When I was in foster care, one of my foster mom’s specialised in caring for medically fragile babies, and so I grew up with a lot of babies around me. The house was one huge nursery.  Obviously no-one was being breastfed – they all drank formula

So I can, on a first hand basis, grasp how many babies are impacted by not being able to drink formula. 

I think that when you breastfeed and you’re surrounded by moms that breastfeed, your view of the world is small, in the sense that you don’t actually realize just how many babies rely on formula. 

Especially babies in communities that need more support.

So when I heard that, I got physically ill. Can you imagine not being able to feed your crying baby? Holding them as they looked at you and you are unable to do anything for them. Can you imagine how intensely and sickening that would make you feel? 

I think I would go mad.

So it just started as me offering to share my milk with any local babies.

 Even though I hate pumping, I took out my pump from the back of storage and started. 

What happened next was insane. 

Moms from literally all around the US came forward: Moms who needed milk and moms who were giving milk all got in touch. 

It was a spiders web of milk support during this pandemic.

Photo credit: Jennifer Tamas/Jake Calvo

 

I created an online milk bank – now permanently located in my Instagram highlights. 

I wanted it to be as easy and user friendly as possible, so it’s sorted by location and it’s clickable. 

 And so, say you live in California, you simply click until you’re on the California page and there you will find moms grouped together in the area, that are able to donate, and you just click on their IG handles. And Ta-Da! 

You’re connected with a mom who can and wants to support you and your baby!

So simple! You obviously need to use common sense and safety guidelines, especially in this time, and moms are able to do that and still have this – it’s as quick a fix for a hungry baby as going to the store. 

Moms from all over have written saying that they were able to procure milk from local IG moms, and through doing so have been able to form mini support groups and communities. 

This is so needed during this time of social distancing. 

I’ve also had several instances where moms were hospitalized due to COVID-19  and unable to breastfeed their babies during that tumultuous hospital stay – they  reached out to me directly asking for milk. 

So I threw up an ISO (in search of…)  in my stories and  moms in that area flocked to their aid. Milk was being shared and delivered.

I think it’s important to highlight that this type of giving is different from the work milk donation organizations do.

Photo credit: Jennifer Tamas/Jake Calvo

This milk drive is an immediate response in the middle of a terrifying pandemic.  It gives immediate power to moms with hungry babies that feel as though they haven’t any.

When you have a baby who is hungry and you have no other options, you don’t have time to wait. So there isn’t a waiting period or charge, and that’s different. And it’s created a community. 

Sharing something that has been so sexualized is revolutionary to me. 

Moms who were formula feeding are willing to give their babies milk from another mom’s breasts. 

These moms are the real heroes. The ones asking for help – being open to something different, because they are erasing years of past judgement and divide. 

I cannot highlight that enough.

This, I believe, has become a transition in time unlike any other. 

Where before there were such clear hash lines drawn.

Formula vs breastfeeding, now because of a global pandemic that affects all classes, colours and religions, something else has happened. 

 

Photo credit: Liquid Gold AU

 

That line isn’t so harsh anymore.

It’s humanised all of us.  And so judgement has been set aside. 

Judgement of breastfeeding or formula feeding. All of it. Cover no cover.

Breast milk, full of amazing and various antibodies, is being shared between babies across households. 

It’s as though the instinctual survival part of DNA has been highlighted and instead of allowing fear to win.

Mothers have chosen to allow love, selflessness, and breast milk to win.  

Jenny Tamas is a writer, influencer, women’s rights campaigner, and breastfeeding advocate.

You can see more of her work here https://www.patreon.com/JennyTamas

 

 

 

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Mission Milk-Possible: The making of a breast milk drive in a pandemic

How one community helped a hungry baby after mother’s COVID-19 hospitalization

By Gemma MacFarlane, Nicole Bautista, Gillian Coull, and Nissa Cornish

Catherine Kosasih’s youngest daughter looks at a vast freezer of donated milk 

THE STORY:

When Catherine Kosasih was diagnosed with the new coronavirus, a chest scan showed white spots on her lungs. Doctors put her in isolation and on a course of antiretrovirals – traditionally used for treating HIV.  Separated from her husband and two young children, who were told to quarantine, she suffered a further blow when medical staff told her she could not see, nurse or even pump milk for her four-month-old baby.  Then they found out the little one was allergic to formula.

She turned to Hong Kong’s close-knit breastfeeding community for help, and what happened next will bring you to tears. 

 

THE SOS: 

Gemma MacFarlane, Teacher, Founder Hong Kong Breastfeeding – Women Only

Catherine sent a message from hospital asking about the HIV medication’s impact on her milk. I contacted her to see if she had enough milk for her little baby.

The initial plan had been to formula supplement once her own supply of frozen milk had run out, but then the baby had such a bad reaction that I knew we had to ask for donations.

It became a necessity. 

Catherine just needed to focus on getting well. It’s bad enough that she was separated from her baby but that she had to dump her liquid gold was horrible and then to top it off her baby had a terrible reaction to artificial breastmilk substitutes.

You’d be heartless not to care. 

I posted details of her SOS on the Facebook group, hoping that people would be able to help.

“Mother, COVID-19 positive, hospitalised and on antiretrovirals, father left with two infants — aged 21 months and 4 months — in quarantine. Baby allergic to formula. Breastmilk donations needed.” 

Offers came pouring in from around Hong Kong and I realised we needed to put a plan in place to get the milk from all these places to the dad, who was looking after two young babies in difficult conditions. 

To help is the minimum we should do. 

The way so many parents came together to do this shows the proverbial village is still desired and necessary. 

I know there are people that view breast milk donation as strange, but I would argue that it could also be viewed as strange that we drink breast milk from cows, goats, donkeys, and camels. 

As a science specialist I can tell you that mammals make milk that is perfect for their own species: The milk made by a cow is perfect for its calf. Human milk is perfect for humans.

Generally I think breastfeeding needs to be encouraged, especially natural term breastfeeding. The benefits are too large not to try. So if you are going to substitute breastmilk for anything it should be human milk before artificial breastmilk substitutes

COVID-19 up close

THE PUMPER: 

Nicole Bautista, kindergarten teacher, mama to Carter, 18 months 

I decided to donate milk because I wanted to help as much as I could.

I felt that if I were in the same situation

I wouldn’t know where to begin!

I don’t personally know a lot of friends who are still breastfeeding so it would be challenging to find  a support group who could immediately donate milk.

During these dark times, we must show compassion and empathy.

I would have been extremely upset knowing that my baby is allergic to formula and that my milk supply has run out. 

Many mothers all over Hong Kong, regardless of culture, nationality and background, came together to help produce sustenance for a wee baby they didn’t know. 

Women need to help each other. Especially now. 

I am moved by the outpouring  of love and care from so many women who have never met each other. 

It really does take a village to raise a child.

 

Cool rider David Barnaby sets of on his mission milk-possible

THE RIDER:

Gillian Coull, Teacher, Moderator, Hong Kong Breastfeeding – Women Only 

I offered to collate details of potential donors and find a way to collect the milk . The offers just flooded in. It was genuinely humbling how ready and willing mums were to share their precious stash with a total stranger.

I asked my partner David if he could help deliver the milk to Lantau – the island where the family lived – and he immediately agreed. We talked about how reliant we would be on the generosity of others if we found ourselves in that situation and so it was very easy to get it started.

On the day, we planned a route that maximised milk volume and minimised time on the road, as it had to get all the way to South Lantau still frozen. Dave used Google Live Location which was shared in the WhatsApp group so that mums could see when he was getting close.

He carried a large sports bag on his back which was packed full by the end.

We collected close to 15 litres of breast milk in the end.

Just for fun, I asked the mums to share a selfie with him as he zoomed around the city on his motorbike. It was pretty dramatic tracking his route with the location tracker and watching the selfies come in!

I liaised with Nissa Cornish, who lives on Lantau, and had volunteered to bring the milk to the family. It was important to me to add my tiny donation of 500ml as a token gesture, but some mums contributed upwards of two or three litres each.

It was incredible to witness.

One of the reasons this spoke to me was that we had a COVID-19 false alarm just a week earlier. David started to have cold symptoms, and then developed a fever. He hadn’t travelled or to our knowledge had close contact with any confirmed case, but naturally we were worried. 

Having three kids, including a 5.5 month old, one of my main anxieties was separation from any of them but most especially the baby who is exclusively breastfed. 

Motorbike milk handovers took place across Hong Kong

I respect HK’s comprehensive approach to virus containment but as we have no family living in Hong Kong I was fearful about what would happen to our children if one or both of us was hospitalised or quarantined. I think it’s a worry many parents here have. 

Shortly afterwards I heard about Catherine and Juergen’s situation. When I saw pictures of the poor baby after drinking formula, not only separated from her mama but suffering from a terrible reaction too, I desperately wanted to help but had very little frozen milk of my own to spare.

I found helping with the milk drive hugely rewarding.

I could easily imagine being in a situation with young children where there was literally nowhere to turn – when your family is overseas and your usual support system might be inaccessible, for various virus related reasons.

I also felt that in taking action as part of a community, I was able to put to rest some of my own fears that had arisen when our family felt threatened by this virus. 

Knowing that people would ensure my baby was fed was reassuring, even if that meant taking her and feeding her directly — since this donation run I now have an arrangement with Heather Lin that she will do this if donor milk isn’t accessible. 

I think this is really the root of the community’s amazing response to Catherine and Juergen’s call for help — it’s a relief for us all to know that other mamas have our backs.

Around 15 litres of breast milk was donated

 

THE HANDOVER:

Nissa Cornish, Executive Director Redress,                                                                            Moderator, Hong Kong Breastfeeding – Women Only 

Since the birth of my son 2 years ago, I have been moved many times by the ’sisterhood’ of becoming a mother.

There was no question of whether or not to help. I welcomed the chance to pay forward the kindnesses and support I have received on my breastfeeding (and parenting) journey.

There were two rounds of donation.

The local mums here in Lantau rallied for the first delivery of around five litres and then the second round of ten litres came from Gillian’s incredible effort in the city.

The baby needed about one litre a day and mum was slated to be in hospital for another week from the first delivery. Plus, her supply was dropping steadily while she was away pumping rather than breastfeeding, so we realised she would likely need to supplement a little bit during the first couple of days back.

We tried to get all the milk we could.

I handled one drop off, Yolanda Jacoby did the other. It was very smooth, though due to his quarantine, I wasn’t able to interact in person with Juergen closely. I dropped off the milk by their home and once I was a safe distance away, he came to collect and waved from the doorstep. 

But as we drove away, I received a text message that he was in tears. 

It made me feel that there is little in this world more powerful than a group of mamas who decide they want to get something done together for another mama 

Donating milk is one of the most beautiful gifts you can give to a baby and its family. I have been on the receiving end myself, and cried tears of gratitude. 

There are so many reasons for donating — whether illness, medication, difficulty feeding or producing milk, separation from the baby… and there are women producing more milk than they need.

Why wouldn’t anyone want to close this simple gap?

It’s a bond between mothers, the ability to feed our babies what they are meant to have.

For thousands of years women have been nursing babies — their own and others — because that’s literally what our bodies are meant to do.

Reunited

 

 

Want to help normalise breastfeeding and get involved with @Ittasteslikelove?

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Surviving COVID-19: A Breastfeeding Mother’s Story

By Catherine Kosasih, Guest Writer 

 

It started with fatigue and aching muscles, but things deteriorated quickly as my fever soared.

I knew I had to go to hospital.

I knew what the symptoms meant, but I hoped I was wrong. 

I called 999 and very quickly medics in protective gear appeared, taking me in an ambulance to our nearest hospital for a chest x-ray.

The radiologist said there were white spots on my lungs. My heart sank, my mind raced, I was distraught for my family and I feared what might happen next.

There were no isolation rooms so I was sent on to Hong Kong’s Yan Chai Hospital where I was immediately put in one. There they did a nasal and deep throat swab.

The results came after 15 hours of waiting, confirming all my fears.

I was preliminary positive for the novel coronavirus. 

It was a shock and I was scared, but I felt glad to have called for help quickly, as it could have stopped the virus spreading to my husband Juergen and our daughters – aged just four months and 21 months old.

That didn’t ease the heartache of being apart, or the intense anxiety over our fate.

I had left the house suddenly and now had no idea how long it would be before I saw the most important people in the world to me again.

I worried about so many things: About them being quarantined, what would happen if they got sick, and how we would feed the baby — I had some frozen breast milk in the freezer but I knew it would not last long.

The  isolation ward had a prison-like feeling, with strictly no visitors allowed.

Even contact with doctors and nurses is kept to a minimum and all staff wore protective gowns, face shields, and gloves.

I saw the doctor in person only once, on my second day. 

He said the were a few white spots on my right lung and the only option was a course of antiretroviral therapy – usually used to treat HIV – to help fight the disease.

The rest of my stay the doctor only contacted me on my mobile.

From the outset, I told the doctors and nurses that I was still breastfeeding and needed to pump milk every few hours. I wondered if they could keep my milk, but they insisted it was not possible

They tell me the hospital has no obstetrics department and they aren’t sure how to keep breast milk safely. They also tell me it’s better to dump it because the HIV medication may pass through it to the baby.

I was heartbroken.

I wondered how Juergen would manage. I wondered how my babies were coping. I missed them terribly.

My COVID-19 battle brought so many emotions, so many ups and downs. There were good days and there were terrible days.

Time seemed to stretch on endlessly.

Nurses came in every six hours, and to deliver medication. The most interaction I had was with the care-taking staff – who came in twice a day to do a deep clean of the room. They are also the ones that deliver the meals.

Even in hospital, staying connected was easy. So I could FaceTime and see my family often, helping to wake up the girls or see them have dinner.  They were small things but they eased my loneliness.

After a few days, I barely had any symptoms  and I was told Juergen and the girls were not showing any either.

It felt like things were finally looking up and mentally that was a huge boost.

But then came the news my baby was allergic to formula. 

It was like a body blow.

She had such a strong reaction that Juergen considered calling the ambulance. I felt desperate.

I was distraught we had no way of feeding the baby.

I posted in Hong Kong Breastfeeding, a social media support group, for help finding alternatives and response left me in tears.

Within a day more than 15 litres – enough to feed the baby for two weeks – had been pledged.

It was incredible that in less than 24 hours people contributed so much to this milk collection. It helped me so much to know, that people were helping while I was stuck in hospital. That my baby was going to be okay.

I still can’t believe so many mums pumped for my baby – a stranger’s baby.

There was a local milk drive on Lantau, the island we live on, and also mothers across other parts of Hong Kong offered their pumped milk, which was collected and delivered by motorbike.

My partner was very emotional when he received the milk. It was dropped on the doorstep to stick to quarantine rules but as soon as we had it, it was such a weight off our minds.

I  felt enormous relief knowing our freezer was filled with milk

It was just so reassuring and one less thing for me to worry about in hospital.

Things seemed to improve each day after that.

They soon brought someone else into to my room because as case numbers increased in Hong Kong – up from around one hundred to close to a thousand – they ran out of isolation rooms.

In a way it was nice to have company

But I was glad it was just one extra person. I’ve heard of ‘isolation’ rooms being filled with eight or even ten patients with COVID-19, which would have brought it’s own risks.

There was more good news after doctors found my lung scans clear on day seven. Most patients are released between 14 and 21 days after admission, so I knew I was doing well at the half way point.

The first week seemed to last forever, but into the second I got a negative swab result, which got my hopes up for being discharged sooner rather than later.

Breastfeeding was a persistent worry though, I had spent a long time away from my baby and the impact of stress, pumping in difficult conditions, and the antiretrovirals caused my supply to drop.

The doctor told me I should not breastfeed for three months after the last treatment, which really shocked me and was a huge blow.

I felt like I’d lost precious time with my babies.

I also feared I would be unable to return to nursing after such a huge gap.

It felt like maybe the virus had taken a bit of my motherhood journey from me.

The doctor later revised his view, saying I’d ‘only’ have to wait maybe one or two weeks, which still seemed very long given the time we had already been apart.

I really wanted to re-establish our nursing relationship. 

Juergen called the Australian Breastfeeding Association, whose advice was that it’s possible to nurse 24 hours after the last treatment.

I mentioned this to the doctor who handled my case, who did some research on it as well. He called me on my last day in the hospital and confirmed we could resume 24 hours from last HIV treatment.

The virus is still new, so I guess they didn’t have enough information to hand and were being cautious, but I am glad I persevered.

This experience showed me how much breastfeeding mothers still have to advocate for themselves, for their babies.  It showed me how much we still must double check rules, regulations and guidelines because often advice given is not based on the latest research.

I was allowed to return home after a second negative swab. It was an incredible feeling.

We are all back together now and I am so thankful that we are healthy and came through it. It is baby steps rekindling breastfeeding, my supply is still not what it was, but I am determined to push through.

The virus showed me that we all should all be more grateful in life. I will be forever thankful to all the people who helped us. It’s wonderful to know that there is still a healthy amount of community spirit out there.

• Click here for more information about breastfeeding and COVID-19

 

 

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Hong Kong supports the #Ittasteslikelove campaign to normalise breastfeeding

From international brands and boutique cafes to spas, salons, and doctor’s surgeries – some of Hong Kong’s bests loved establishments are backing the #Ittasteslikelove campaign, taking a stand against discrimination, and empowering breastfeeding mothers.

PHOTO CREDIT: RSP PHOTOGRAPHY 

Here’s what they do, why you should support them, and why they support us:

Cafes, Bars, Restaurants

Maximal Concepts (HK Island)

The grand masters of mixing tradition and innovation, Maximal Concepts are unequivocally supporting the idea that women should be free to nurse however, wherever and whenever they need to.

Why they back the campaign:

“We absolutely support this campaign and want all nursing mothers to feel totally comfortable caring for their children in our restaurants. It’s such an important message to get across, and the stigma definitely needs to change in Hong Kong.” – Malcolm Wood, Global Managing Director

What they do and why you should go:

Brickhouse: the best of Mexican street food in a hip setting, located centrally. This isn’t your traditional spot for mamas with kids in tow, but hey, if these cool kids are backing the campaign, so should everyone.

John Anthony: this 7,000-square-foot ode to sustainability in the restaurant business serves up innovative Cantonese food. With a focus on ensuring how our choices now need to be mindful of the next generation, it makes sense they are backing a campaign to normalise breastfeeding.

Limewood: perfect for lazy beach days, this Repulse Bay gem is beloved by local families and visitors alike. Set beachfront at The Pulse, this is an ideal place for a leisurely lunch, and they won’t bat an eyelid if your boobs are out for breastfeeding.

Mercedes me Store: slap bang on Queen’s Road Central, this one is an easy choice for lunching with fellow parents or just grabbing a quick bite after running errands in Central.

Mott 32: internationally renowned Chinese fare based primarily on Cantonese and Sichuan traditions is what’s on offer here. A great choice if you want a stylish family gathering but still need to nurse.

Stockton: this whisky bar (open from 6pm till late) with its slick cocktails and den-of-iniquity atmosphere might seem an unlikely backer of the campaign, but mamas also have nights off, and when they do, they always remember the folk that backed them when they needed it.

Black Sheep Restaurants (HK Island, TST)

From the classic tastes of post-colonial India and Pakistan to 1950s New York, these guys know how to do concept cuisine right. Inspired by the past but forward-thinking in their delivery, they operate a “family first” approach, and encouraging the normalisation of breastfeeding fits into that.

Why they back the campaign:

“Family is important to us, and everyone who dines with us is an extended member of our family – and that includes babies. We fully support a woman’s choice to breastfeed her baby whenever and wherever she chooses, and this includes all Black Sheep Restaurants venues. We pride ourselves in offering all mothers a safe and welcoming environment.” – Malique Goldin, Director of Guest Experience

What they do and why you should go:

Artemis & Apollo: what’s not to love about the family-friendly atmosphere of this Greek taverna?

BELON: a fusion of classic French bistro and local influences, BELON now boasts a Michelin star. High-end restaurants can be inexplicably difficult about nursing mothers, so it’s excellent to have “safe” special-occasion options.

Burger Circus: all-American diner with booths, jukebox and a menu of cult favourites. Great vibe and kind staff make it a winner for new parents.

Carbone: with Big Apple style, Italian-American food and cool music, this one ticks all the boxes whether you’re with the children or not.

Chôm Chôm: if you’ve travelled through Southeast Asia, you’ll know that people bring kids out in the evenings to dine and people-watch. No reason why you can’t carry on this tradition at this busy Vietnamese kitchen and bar.

Fukuro: this slick Japanese izakaya is an unlikely stop if you’re nursing, but one to bookmark for your return to wild nights out.

Ho Lee Fook: where New York’s Chinatown meets Hong Kong’s cha chaan tengs. With a no-reservations policy and lively atmosphere, this isn’t necessarily somewhere to bring baby, but know that if you need to, they have your back.

Hotal Colombo: this vibrant Sri Lanka eatery makes us think of holidays. Great if you’re in SoHo and need something simple and yummy for an early dinner. If you’re nursing, choose the seats against the wall for extra comfort.

La Vache!: with branches in SoHo and TST, these spacious Parisian steakhouses are the go-to for red meat cravings and addictive fries.

Le Garçon Saigon: classic Vietnamese fare served in a Parisian brasserie-style setting, this is an excellent choice if you feel like being a grown-up after baby-and-me classes.

Le Petit Saigon: this is more grab and go, but if you’re used to breastfeeding in a carrier, make a pit stop here and pick up the best banh mi in town.

Maison Libanaise: evoking 1960s Beirut, this SoHo Middle Eastern spot is a firm favourite, and it’s great that this doesn’t need to change just because you have a family.

Motorino: if you’re after excellent pizza with a great family atmosphere, this is a good choice and well located – one branch is just off the Central–Mid-Levels escalator in SoHo and the others on Wanchai’s trendy Ship Street.

New Punjab Club: this tandoori grill is a fantastic family spot with a lush menu. It also has a Michelin star, so if you’re entertaining foodie visitors and have a bub in tow, this might be the solution.

Osteria Marzia: breastfeeding in public is normal in Italy, so much so that the Pope recently welcomed nursing mothers to the Sistine Chapel. It makes sense that this darling restaurant that offers diners a taste of the coastal cuisine of places such as Amalfi, Puglia and Sardinia should have the same approach.

Soul Food Thai: a neighbourhood Thai kitchen offering authentic Bangkok shophouse dishes with a twist, most of them easy to eat with a babe in arms. A great choice if you want something casual but inviting for dinner.

Stazione Novella: another good option if you’re on the hop and need a quick bite or drink, but as they have high bar stools, it’s probably better to keep your baby in the carrier if you’re planning on breastfeeding.

PizzaExpress 

One of Hong Kong’s comfort-food favourites with locations across the city from Yuen Long to Stanley, and Discovery Bay to Tseung Kwan O, they now offer vegan options, pizza-making parties, and are committed to ensuring that their restaurants are family-friendly from the outset.

Why they back the campaign:

“Family is one of our core values here at PizzaExpress, and it’s our goal to make sure everyone who dines at our restaurants feels loved and supported, especially the mothers. We are a firm believer that mothers should be supported to breastfeed in public without any concern, and it’s our job and privilege to provide such environment.” – Liam Colette, Managing Director International of PizzaExpress

Oolaa 

With options in Wan Chai, Soho, and now Tung Chung, this brand has been popular with urban families for more than a decade. They will also help reheat bottles and baby food, with the view that they are there to help diners feel comfortable.

Why they back the campaign:

“At Oolaa we are proud to be a recognised family restaurant and this is why it has been important for us over 10+ years to welcome families and help mothers feel comfortable if they breastfeed.  The most natural thing is breastfeeding and mothers around the World should be able to feed their babies anytime and anywhere, this is why they will always be welcome.” – Manon Pellis, Events Manager

FRITES (Causeway Bay, Central, Quarry Bay, Wanchai)

Already a favourite with Hong Kong’s parents, FRITES’ restaurants are popular for working lunches or after-office drinks, but they are also great places to bring the kids. The venues have play areas and activities to keep your smalls occupied.

Why they back the campaign:

“We are delighted to be part of the #Ittasteslikelove campaign and fully support mothers breastfeeding in public. No one has the authority to tell a mother where to feed her child; it is a natural process that should be done wherever they please.” – Avia Kafry, FRITES management

MANA! (Central, Sheung Wan, Wanchai)

Bobsy Gaia is the godfather of Hong Kong’s ethical eating scene – whether it’s promoting a plant-based diet or highlighting the need to reduce waste. The third of his MANA! eateries just opened near Wanchai’s Star Street, and he’s committed all of his restaurants to supporting #Ittastteslikelove.

Why they back the campaign:

“MANA! is proud to support the #Ittasteslikelove campaign to normalise breastfeeding. Mothers can relax at MANA! and know they are welcome and can dine or drink hassle free.” – Bobsy Gaia, founder

Beef & Liberty (Central, Stanley, Hong Kong International Airport)

We just love these guys – not just for the excellent food and great events (whether its beach clean-ups or family quiz days), but also because they understand how important it is for the whole community to be involved in driving social change. They were amongst the first to include the plant-based Impossible Burger on their menus and are now leading the way with helping to normalise breastfeeding in F&B.

Why they back the campaign:

“At Beef & Liberty, we completely support the #Ittasteslikelove campaign. We welcome all nursing mothers and hope to provide an atmosphere that is comfortable and relaxed where they can look after their children without being judged or hassled.” – Will Bray, Managing Director, Greater China Restaurant Company

Modern Rich Group (Causeway Bay, Wanchai)

This cool group deliver innovative fusion eats as well as the best of the grill. Diners can rest assured that they will be looked after at either of their eateries, in terms of service, food and, of course, support if you’re nursing.

Why they back the campaign:

“We support breastfeeding as this is such a wonderful thing to give babies. I am a father of two, so I understand the beauty of it. Our restaurants have carefully planned our seating, so mummies can enjoy a more spacious environment when they feed their babies. Meanwhile, if they visit us during lunchtime on weekdays, they can enjoy a custom-made hot mocktail, which is good for their body health!” – Jerry Fung, General Manager, hEat and Le Rêve

What they do and why you should support them:

hEat: there’s something for everyone at this casual Mediterranean grill in Wanchai, so bring the extended family and stay for a while.

Le Rêve: try this French-Japanese fine-dining restaurant in Causeway Bay if you’re keen to impress and relax knowing that even with babe in tow the service will still be faultless and welcoming.

SpiceBox Organics (Kennedy Town, Mid-Levels)

These shops and cafés are stalwarts for Hong Kong Island’s westsiders wanting to pick up freshly made, organic, gluten-free, vegetarian and vegan fare. Dining in is always nice, and they go the extra mile to make parents feel welcome.

Why they back the campaign:

“We support the #Ittasteslikelove campaign to normalise breastfeeding. We want nursing mothers to know they are welcome at all of our stores and cafés. We are happy to offer them a complimentary Organic India caffeine-free tea upon any dine-in or in-store purchase.” – Punam Chopra, founder

DiVino Group (Central, TST, Wanchai)

Lovers of Italian cuisine head to one of these restaurants for fresh ingredients and warm welcomes. These guys have been going for more than 15 years, so they know a thing or two about keeping every generation happy.

Why they back the campaign:

“We are thrilled to back the #Ittasteslikelove campaign to normalise breastfeeding. Our staff understand only too well how daunting it can be for nursing mothers when out and about in public. We’d like to give you one less thing to worry about. If you dine or drink with us, we’ll give you one free smoothie.” – DiVino Group team

What they do and why you should support them:

Carpaccio: complete the gastronomic tour around Italy with a stop at this gem at iSQUARE mall, which brings trattoria style to TST. They have a very reasonable weekend brunch too.

DiVino Patio: whether it’s for work or pleasure, this place has the perfect seating, menu and drink list for every kind of meeting, be it intimate or formal. Plus, the location close to Wanchai’s waterfront provides a spacious al- fresco vibe. They’re big on family here, so come with the brood.

DiVino Wine Bar & Restaurant: this Wyndham Street stalwart keeps it simple for lunch but draws a crowd for dinner. The service is excellent.

Spasso: come for the divine Italian food, stay for the view. It’s vital to have more breastfeeding-friendly restaurants on the other side of the harbour, so we’re pleased to have such a super option in this neck of the woods.

Hemingway’s DB (Discovery Bay)

This waterside eatery is now fully vegan, offering a collection of classic favourites – from pizza to pies – but all dairy and meat free. The holiday-resort vibe, coupled with the relaxed seating and outdoor furniture, lends itself to leisurely lunches or sundowners. A great choice for everyone, but especially nursing mothers.

Why they back the campaign:

“Hemingway’s fully backs the #Ittasteslikelove campaign to normalise breastfeeding in society. Breastfeeding is the single most natural thing we as humans do, and the practice should never be shunned or frowned upon, only encouraged and the mothers supported!” – Gary Stokes, owner

Whisky & Words (Sheung Wan)

As the venue for Heather Lin’s Pump It Up event, where a group of women came together to be photographed breastfeeding and pumping (a homage to the pics of actress Rachel McAdams pumping milk while clad in diamonds and Versace), the team behind this dynamic bar have already shown their full support for breastfeeding mothers.

Elephant Grounds (Admiralty, Causeway Bay, Mid-Levels, Sha Tin, Wanchai)

A sanctuary for caffeine addicts and breakfast lovers, with outlets across the city.

Nhậu (Sheung Wan)

Inventive Vietnamese cuisine by chef (and proud father) Que Vinh Dang.

Pret A Manger

Setting the standard for international brands in Hong Kong, Pret is standing up for mothers across the city by supporting #Ittasteslikelove and showing once again that they are happy to give back to consumers.

Why they back the campaign:

“Breastfeeding is a very natural thing, which should not be discriminated in our society. Pret is very proud to be part of the @Ittasteslikelove campaign, and we fully support normalising breastfeeding in Hong Kong. We are pleased to offer a safe, secure, comfortable and supportive environment for nursing mothers to feel free to breastfeed their children.” – Yumi Li, Commercial Director (Asia)

What they do and why you should go:

What don’t they do? Breakfast, lunch, lattes and light bites, Pret has become Hong Kong’s de-facto canteen. Pret makes an effort to cater to vegan and vegetarian customers and offers both healthy and comfort food. It’s great for nursing mothers to know they are safe and cared for at their ubiquitous cafés. Plus, from 19 August 2019, Pret will offer free cookies with any food or drink purchase to nursing mothers who are dining in.

HABITŪ

This popular chain likes to present itself as a home away from home, so it makes sense that they support the idea of nursing mothers being made to feel welcome and comfortable.

Why they back the campaign:

“We believe all mothers should make themselves comfortable and nurse anytime, anywhere. #HabituLove is boundless – we make incredible things happen by becoming a breastfeeding-friendly neighbourhood café for every mum.” – HABITŪ team

What they do and why you should go:

These cafés offer coffees, cakes and chocolates, as well as excellent soups, pastas and sandwiches. Their spaces are light and airy, with room to relax, and they make an ideal place for a pit stop if mamas are running out of steam.

Education and Childcare

Maggie & Rose (Causeway Bay, Repulse Bay)

This family members’ club with beach and city properties has a vision to create a home away from home where both grown-ups and kids can make fun memories together. They support the #Ittastelikelove campaign across both venues.

Why they back the campaign:

“We support and cultivate a positive attitude towards breastfeeding in public places, including our Eat Café at Maggie & Rose City Club in Causeway Bay, and provide mothers with better community support for sustaining breastfeeding.” – Maggie & Rose team

Baumhaus (TST, Wanchai)

These wonderful centres for kids have been favourites of Hong Kong’s parents for years, featuring great play areas, coffee lounges and music and drama classes, and have always made nursing mothers feel welcome.

Why they back the campaign:

“Baumhaus supports the #Ittasteslikelove message to normalise breastfeeding. We can offer a butter or chocolate cookie to breastfeeding mums when they are in the cafés in our centres.” – Baumhaus team

Fashion & Lifestyle

Glow Spa

This inimitable spot in Central is fast becoming THE place for all your grooming needs from waxing and manicures to facials and blow-drys.

Why they back the campaign:

“We cater for nursing mothers as a matter of course, I regularly give up my office if mum needs privacy to pump or nurse, and if they are happy to nurse in public, our staff are mature and accommodating. Mums can nurse in the salon or in the nail room if they would like a quieter area, we speak about nursing mums and how to look after them at our team meetings. Mums are always welcome if they are in the city and need a place to go, they can feed or pump at Glow without hassle (or an appointment!)” – Sioban Guilfoyle, Founder, Glow Spa

What they do and why you should go:

A hub of all things beauty Glow is an absolutely gorgeous place to hang out as owner Sioban has ensured its something of a home from home with plush sofas and enticing snacks.  She’s backing the campaign so breastfeeding mothers – including those that pump – are welcome to swing by. But it’s worth highlighting that their whole philosophy is community-led so even if you are stuck in central with a pre-schooler that needs the bathroom, you can still rely on these guys to help you out.

Retykle 

Why they back the campaign: 

“We love what #Ittasteslikelove is doing to normalise breastfeeding and we enthusiastically support the campaign.  You can pop in for a comfortable relaxing feed any time you’re in the Wong Chuk Hang area and know that we stand with you to support feeding anywhere and any time.” – Sarah Garner, Founder, Retykle

What they do: Sarah Garner started RETYKLE to make buying and re-selling great quality baby, kid’s and maternity clothing as convenient and as stylish as buying new. Great for the environment, great for the wallet and great for your kids’ style.

Health & Wellness

OT & P

They have five general practice surgeries across Hong Kong, but the Central location also now includes Annerley, The Midwives Clinic. Firmly committed to supporting breastfeeding, they welcome all parents, whether clients or not, to stop by if they need a break to feed or care for little ones.

Why they back the campaign:

“At OT&P Family Clinic, we are proud to be a part of the #ittasteslikelove campaign and happy to provide a safe and comfortable space for mothers to breastfeed their children. If professional help is needed, we have that too and our midwives and lactation consultants can help you with classes, private consultations or home visits. Having a child can be a tough journey and we believe that our community here will ensure that new families can find the help and support that they need. If you are out and about in Central, pop in and say hi. Feed your baby and rest awhile.”

 

KAPUHALA

A training space where athletes, fitness enthusiasts, and most importantly people looking to make a lifestyle change, can train to achieve their fitness goals in a friendly, social and communal environment

Why they back the campaign:

Breastfeeding is great for mom and baby – research shows that it can reduce the risk of chronic disease for both. At Kapuhala, it is our mission to build a social space for everyone to get healthy – for this, we support any mothers who wish to workout and breastfeed so they can take care of themselves and their babies. Healthy moms, healthy bubs! – Crystal Lee, Owner, Kapuhala

What they do:

Everything from spin classes and Zumba to boot camp and boxing. Combining the neighbourhood gym vibe with global ambitions to make the world a better place, it offers more than the usual workout space.

 

 

Zig FitMama

An experienced personal trainer and fitness instructor, she’s worked in the UK and Hong Kong and last year qualified as a pre and postnatal coach in 2018

Why they back the campaign:

Breastfeeding is a daunting and often thankless task that has a lot of unique obstacles. Zig FitMama supports #ittasteslikelove because I wish to empower, support and create confidence in mothers to be their best selves unapologetically.” – Zikita Makant, Founder of Zig FitMama, and distributor of Milky Mumma Nutrition

What they do:

She aims to prepare and help women for labour, childbirth and the postpartum period with dedicated fitness advice, and as a distributor of lactation support foods – she understands the nutritional needs of the nursing body too.

Kristen Handford Personal Training

This DB-based personal trainer is also accredited for pre and postnatal workouts.

Why they back the campaign:

“Did you know that you are welcome to nurse your baby at ANY time while training with me? Being a mom is hard enough, so I want you to know that I support you – and I’ve got your back when it comes to boobing (or bottle-ing). Hold up.. Did she say burpees? Time to breastfeed!” – Kristen Handford, Founder, Kristen Handford Personal Training

What they do:

Kristen combines knowledge of nutrition, physiology, and peak performance to get results. Plus, having had her first baby she understands new mothers perfectly.

Treece Fitness & Fit Mums & Babes

Why they back the campaign:

“We support the campaign #ittasteslikelove to normalize breastfeeding. We believe Mothers should be able to nurse, however, wherever and whenever they need to. All our fitness classes are breastfeeding friendly and we will even encourage you to do it while you are exercising if that’s what suits you and your child!”

What they do: Husband and wife team Lina and Tyler run are all about family-friendly fitness. They aim to provide fitness classes that not only boost body and mind but also offer exercise options where babies are welcome, breastfeeding is welcome and everyone is supported to meet their health goals.

Mama, take the photo (or get a professional to do it)… Part I

By Rosalia Sempere Pico, #Ittasteslikelove Campaign Photographer

Owner: RSP Photography 

 

PHOTO CREDIT: GONZALO MORENO FOTOGRAPHIA

The first time I was asked to photograph a mother breastfeeding was two years ago when I was photographing my friend Ziggy with her son in my studio. Of course, I was more than happy to capture those images but to me, it felt like an unusual request.

I always thought breastfeeding was a private thing between mother and child.

I now realise the idea that breastfeeding should be a private, discreet act was only in my head because society has made mothers believe they must go into a room or cover up to do it.

I know now it’s not practical for mothers to nurse solely in the privacy of their own home, nor is it necessary for them to use a breastfeeding shawl.

There’s no reason to keep it hidden.

PHOTO CREDIT: GONZALO MORENO FOTOGRAPHIA

Soon after, I was shooting a newborn session and the baby needed a break to feed so

I asked the mother if she would like me to shoot a few snaps of her baby breastfeeding.

Her eyes lit up and she responded: “Yes I would love that”. 

As I photographed her I could tell that she had been too shy to ask, but was overjoyed that I had offered.

It became so clear to me then that breastfeeding is something that should be acknowledged and shared.

Breastfeeding is something the world should see. 

Nursing might be natural but it is not easy. It is a learned skill and at times there are challenges to overcome.

Why not celebrate the beauty, dedication and love that goes into mastering it?

PHOTO CREDIT: ROSALIA SEMPERE PICO, RSP PHOTOGRAPHY

Last year I became a mother for the first time and I realised even more so the importance of normalising breastfeeding.

I now photograph women breastfeeding all the time.

I’ve captured images of my other mum friends, I have set up a special day dedicated to shooting nursing mothers, and I always offer new mums who come into the studio for newborn shoots if they would like breastfeeding photographs.

PHOTO CREDIT: ROSALIA SEMPERE PICO, RSP PHOTOGRAPHY

It’s difficult to understand the unique experience of nursing until you go through it yourself. It is so much more than nourishment – it is comfort, reassurance, love, and security, and the bond is so special.

But breastfeeding, like so many seasons of motherhood, does not last forever

So it is really important to capture these sweet, special – but also fleeting – moments because they pass so quickly.

Whether it is on your phone at home or in a professional photography studio I urge parents to capture these moments while you can.

PHOTO CREDIT: ROSALIA SEMPERE PICO, RSP PHOTOGRAPHY

 

 

 

Rosalia Sempere Pico is the photographer behind the lens at RSP PHOTOGRAPHY in Hong Kong. She specializes in portraits for families, newborns, and maternity – both in-studio and on location.

Featured below are highlights of the imagery she has shot for the #Ittasteslikelove campaign to normalise breastfeeding.

 

Taken 30 years apart, what do these images have in common? A misogynistic backlash.

Schiela Amorim Fotografia/ Annie Leibovitz

In 1991, actress Demi Moore posed seven months pregnant and artfully nude on the cover of Vanity Fair. Thousands complained, outraged at the immodesty of it all, fearing it was too sexy an image of an expectant mother.

Walmart put the issue in the adult magazines section and insisted it was shrink-wrapped in the same way as pornographic magazines are.

Other supermarkets refused to sell it at all.

The magazine’s editor at the time, Tina Brown, described her decision to publish it as ‘simply a celebration of the essence of womanhood’ and yet many called for it to be banned.

People had become unused to seeing pregnancy showcased in this way and so it seemed obscene.

Thirty years on, that reaction seems ridiculous. The pregnant female form is once more valued as a thing of art and wonder, and this type of image is offered by maternity photographers as standard.

Recently Moore’s photo was hailed by Time magazine as one of the top 100 most influential images of all time and has been replicated by stars and ordinary mothers alike.

Today people react badly to stylish breastfeeding pictures

The reaction to Schiela Amorim‘s high glamour shot of mother Jessic Nunes has swung from anger the image ‘sexualises breastfeeding’ to complaints its not a reflection of ‘real motherhood’.

The former position is bizarre because at a fundamental level, how a woman looks or dresses when nursing is irrelevant. Whether its short shorts or ballgowns – she’s still just meeting her child’s needs.

The latter position is even more bizarre: This is clearly artistic photography. No one is pretending she got out of bed looking this way. Breastfeeding has been vaunted and honoured in art and imagery for centuries – from Babylonian sculptures and Madonna and child iconography to the works of Picasso and Gauguin.

These works probably don’t reflect the reality of breastfeeding for ordinary women in the times they were created.

The public has grown used to seeing and celebrating the pregnancy – it has become the norm to do nude or artful maternity shoots.

Today breastfeeding mothers often get a hard time for nursing in public, but the tide is turning. More and more people accept that soothing your child while out and about is normal.

Yet there’s a caveat – you must nurse within the confines of their expectations.

Dare to do it dressed in an ‘unmotherly’ style and it is catastrophic.

Suddenly you’ll hear there ‘buts’…  you know the clause people add to their official statement that really gives away who they are and what they think deep down (I’m not a racist but; I’m not homophobic but;)

If you hear that line, you’ll know the undercurrent of misogyny is still there beneath the veneer of tolerance:

I fully support breastfeeding, but… it should be done modestly

I fully support breastfeeding, but… if you dress like that it is just to get attention

I fully support breastfeeding, but…. people like you give it a bad name

Here’s the thing: Whether you opt for high heels and vampy lips or bikini tops and flowing skirts, your style is your style and that should have nothing to do with how acceptable it is that you’re breastfeeding.

The idea that if you nurse while looking the least bit attractive, edgy, or unmumsy it is a cry for attention, or an attempt to be sexual, is laughable and yet so many still subscribe to it.

Whatever you wear, wherever you are, this simple fact remains: you are meeting your child’s needs 

Almost three decades from that Demi Moore image, celebrating pregnancy is now accepted as normal.

Let’s make sure it doesn’t take 30 years for breastfeeding to be viewed the same way.

 

Mama, it’s not easy… but it’s worth it

By Abigail Ede, Guest Writer

 

Endless happiness, delicious moments and a heartfelt, overwhelming connection.

This is what breastfeeding became for me – but it did not start this way!

In reality, the first 3-4 weeks of nursing were arduous and painful.

So much so, I actually dreaded feeding time.

I would find myself delaying feeding my daughter just for a few minutes.

I would wince just thinking of that first sharp pinching grasp for milk.

I would be in tears as she latched.

The lactation nurses at the hospital were great, but it didn’t help the feelings I was having.

The pain was so bad initially that I chose to feed my daughter from a syringe just to have some respite. I bought nipple cream in bulk and spent huge sums of money on silver contraptions that promised to heal my bleeding nipples.

I fantasised about using formula.

It will get better, just persevere!” people would say, but in the moment, it was hard to see how.

It was even harder to understand why something that was supposed to be natural was hurting me.

I knew friends were using lactation consultants for support, but I decided to persist on my own.

That first pinch took weeks to fade into memory but after that excruciating first month, things got easier.

I relaxed into it more, found positions that suited me better, used Silverettes relentlessly (best breastfeeding buy!) and learned to control my oversupply by hand expressing before a feed. 

The pain lessened.

Breastfeeding became everything I had hoped.

My daughter would put her little hand on my chest and look up at me and my heart would swell.

But I underestimated what it would take to get there.

I think it is important for healthcare providers not just to pump (no pun intended) out the message ‘Breast Is Best’ – but to be honest that breastfeeding can be tricky.

It’s important for women to know that just because it is natural, that doesn’t mean it will be easy.  It can hurt and it’s a learned skill for both of you.

It’s a case of putting together a jigsaw puzzle.

When all of the pieces fit together – the latch, milk supply, optimal positioning –  the experience and memories are incredible.

 It might take a little help or a little research but you can do it. 

 

• Abigail Ede is a full-time mum to a 20-month-old daughter (with another baby on the way) and trained primary school teacher.  A true Welsh-speaking Welsh girl, I married my Australian/Sri Lankan husband this year and we live in Hong Kong.

Mama, donating breastmilk is beautiful

By Heather Lin, Guest Writer 

Every day at work, I fill two bottles with glistening, pale, liquid love. 

My love chills in the fridge beside sandwiches, salad dressings and takeout boxes. My food is so different from theirs – because mine is made out of love.

Liquid love, maternal love made physical in the form of milk.

The milk trundles home in a taxi or on a city bus.  It gets poured into little bags, and patiently freezes amongst the salmon and the ice cubes.  

There, it awaits.  My liquid love awaits a reason to be needed.  It awaits a small mouth to feed, a small stomach to nourish, a small belly to fill.  It waits, unfulfilled, in the freezer. “One day my chance will come!”

Then, such a day comes. Via Facebook, or via a mutual connection.  A dutiful husband shows up at the door.  A thankful mother. Some bear small gifts of appreciation.  I tell them “No, you are doing me the favour.” 

Out of the freezer, my liquid love goes.  Into a cooler bag, and hurriedly shepherded to a new home.  Another baby awaits it. Another pair of eager lips guzzles it from a bottle.  Another little tummy is soothed. 

I have too much.  You have too little.  Let me help you. 

I have donated roughly 10 litres of milk to about a dozen different babies.  I have pumped for over 2 years, for my two children. Very quickly, my own babies opted to wait the long hours till mama came home to nurse, and my liquid love piled up in the freezer, unwanted and unused. 

As my freezer stash grew, I wondered what to do with it. 

Make soap? Pour it in the bath? It’s supposed to be wonderful for all kinds of ailments or even as a moisturiser.

But my quantities seemed too large for such endeavours.  I poked around on social media and came across Human Milk 4 Human Babies; an informal milk donation page.  Excellent! I had always loved being useful, and donating milk seemed right down that path. 

My first donation was to a friend, whom I messaged with as she was going through the first days with her newborn.  She was struggling with nursing and was considering supplementing. I suggested donor milk, my milk. Like many, my friend did not know that such options existed, or that donating human milk was even practised.  From then on, I regularly donated my stash each time it grew beyond a dozen bags.  

Sometimes, mothers posted “I need help.”  Other times, I posted “Who can I help?” The call was always promptly answered. 

I can only speak from the perspective of a mother who has donated milk.  I do not know of the bravery it takes to ask for help. I do not know of the confidence it takes to lean on others.  

What I do know is the joy of being able to help. 

The eagerness to be of service. The satisfaction of knowing my blessings won’t swirl pointlessly down the drain.

I’m often told: “That is amazing that you’ve donated so much!”

I disagree.  What is amazing is that so many mothers thought to reach out. 

So many mothers were so committed to breastfeeding, that they allowed a stranger to help.  So many mothers followed their urge to provide, all the way to the doorstep of another mother, to bring back food for their babies. 

Using donor milk is a beautiful example of how raising children takes a village. 

We were not meant to go at it alone, isolated in our homes, cut off from our tribe. 

We were meant to rely on our fellow women, fellow mothers, unified by our common experiences. 

Just as how staring into a flickering fire can stir something primal in the depths of our being, feeding another’s baby from the milk our body produced, awakens a powerful sentiment.  

Let me help you.  I can help you. You are not alone. 

About the author: Heather Lin is a Canadian mom living in Hong Kong and is passionate about breastfeeding: She is an accredited La Leche League leader; a volunteer role which centres around offering mother-to-mother support and information.

 

 

Please Note:

• Hong Kong currently does not have a regulated breast milk donation bank. 
• All donations are made informally
• Parents should do thorough research before accepting and using donor milk